Military life! Military brats! That was our life. I don’t think people are aware of the impact that being raised in the military has on children. We moved more times than I can count. I am a very personable person, when I make friends with someone I actually leave a piece of my heart with them. I can’t tell you if being in the military and missing out is why I do that or that’s how I was designed & my insecurities are byproduct of leaving everyone that I ever made friends with. But, one thing I do know is I was totally messed up. I have actually tried to run away from home at a very young age. Now that I think about it, maybe I wasn’t running away from home but running to find stability.
Don’t get me wrong I am very proud of my Dad for serving his country & providing for his family, but military children’s foundation is unstable. We actually lose a part of our identity every time we are told get packing, “Daddy has received his orders to move to”… most military kids have or had addictive behaviors, as a means of something they can control. Whether it’d be drugs, alcohol, relationships, promiscuities, over-achieving, withdrawing, or all of it. This is my story! I have had relationship problems thinking if I give my whole heart they’re going to leave, or I was going to, so I would sabotage my relationship.
When I was about 15 yrs. old I said no more, that’s it I’m done. I ran away for the last time. Eventually I was caught by the police and placed in a detention center. During this time Dad got orders to go to the Philippines and I told the courts that I’m not going, so the judge made me the ward of the state and eventually I got emancipated at the age of 16. So I have been an adult since I was 16. I am 57 now & through JESUS CHRIST I am working through my insecurities, neediness & all other quirks I have developed over my life. But I am really tired! My heart skips several beats when most of my cousins talk about their life with Gramma or each other, people posting on Facebook of their school reunions (past friends/acquaintances I have met in these days are no longer in my memory). As military children we sometimes end up distant from our own parents & siblings. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was 15 years & it had been over 30 years before I saw my brother & sister again. Breaks my heart to see & hear of sibling relationships, because I wanted that so badly. I do believe our lives would have been very different if we would have stayed in one place growing up. But apparently it wasn’t GOD’s plan for us. Would I be as strong? Maybe not! I have no regrets because my life in the military has made me the women I am today.
Thank you for this opportunity to share my story, it shined another beautiful light in my life! Thank you Daddy, for loving & serving our country!